Whispering to myself

“Don’t forget your feet are leaving far from the earth when you locate yourself at the high point.”
/
I have acrophobia, every moment standing at a higher place, as long as it is higher from the ground, even though it is only two-story height. That fear will be intensified whenever I’m near to the glass balustrade.

My leg will be trembling non-stop, while my hands will grasp the handrail as hard as possible.

I am worrying the slab under my feet de-structured, which will make myself fall into the infinite deep; in the midst of that falling, that kind of force as if will stratify myself.
/
He says.
This structure is meticulously calculated by the professional engineer, and the contractor builds it fully according to the drawing without any materials alteration. Besides, it is strictly scrutinized by the city council and registered architect.

This is absolutely safe, there’s nothing to worry about.
/
I say.

True, this is an undeniable truth in the logical and theoretical sense.

However, is it going to be firm, standing right there eternally?
/
I will detach from the ground if I stay further from the core;
I will be swollen by the earth if I stay closer to the core.
/
I speak to myself,

I will be grounded standing on the earth, I won’t think of having a temporary view at a high point.

Do not push me to the high point, I’m afraid of height.
_______________________________________________

"當你身在高處, 別忘了你的腳離地面越遠."
我喃喃自語
/
我本身懼高,
每次站在稍高的地方,
只要離地表一段高度, 哪怕只是兩層樓, 尤其靠近玻璃圍牆的地方,那恐懼感更加的強烈.
​
雙腳便不聽使喚地顫抖, 雙手緊緊握著扶手,
深怕自己下一秒腳下的地板不再紮實.
自己掉入深淵, 彷彿自己會被那重力抽離.
/
他說 這結構是經專業工程師緊密計算出來的,
承包商也如實的將用料一一依照圖測建造出來.
也經過市政局和註冊建築師審核驗收.
這絕對是安全的, 沒什麼好擔心的.
/
我說 是的, 邏輯理論上這是不可否認的事實.
可是啊, 它會一直堅固下去, 永遠在哪裡屹立不倒嗎?
/
稍微離中心遠一些, 我將脫離地表;
稍微往中心近一些, 我被地表吞噬.
/
我對自己說, 我要踏實地站在地表.
不貪婪那高處曇花一現的暫像.
不要將我推上高處, 我怕高.